Preparing For Israel

God has definitely been preparing my heart for this trip starting before I even knew I was going. God knew this day would come, and He would prepare me for it. I have been overwhelmed today with God's grace. He has shown me how wicked my heart is, yet how He wants to use me. He created me to glorify Him, and although I have made mistakes in my life, that didn't glorify Him through my thoughts, words, or actions, He continues to be patient with me. What blows my mind, is that God wants to use me as his vessel. I feel so unworthy to be used by God, because I see my sin, and I don't understand why He would call me. But I know that God doesn't see my sin anymore, ONLY BECAUSE OF JESUS. That is what makes me worthy. I know that I have been saved by grace through faith, and that not of myself; it is a gift from God, not of works, lest I should boast. This trip I am taking has nothing to do with me earning it, its entirely grace! God is so good! Please pray on behalf of the Israel Team while we are gone! Back in the states December 2nd!

"I the Lord search the heart..."

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can understand it?" Jermiah says in Chapter 17:9 My heart is so wicked. The things I say during the day, the things I think, the things I do, and some of the things I don't do disgust me. The next verse says, " I the lord search the heart..." I know for sure that I don't want a holy God to look into my heart, and be disgusted with what he sees in me. The amazing thing I can't understand is how our hearts can be full of sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, emnity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissentions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things alike. (Gal.5) and God sees us as perfect, only because the spotless blood of Jesus has covered us. He is such a loving , merciful, and compassionate God! That list of sins are all works of the flesh, which are in each one of our hearts, but paul says if we walk in the spirit we will not gratify those desires. Its so hard not to feed our flesh, and to crucify it, to put it to death like it says in Romans. It really hurts when we have to give up things we desire that are ungodly, but how much better it feels when we are not in bondage to any of those works. I guess what Im trying to say is thank you Jesus for the freedom you have given each one of us, and the forgiveness you freely give us. He doesn't hold back any good gift from us! He is a Good God!

Humility is Hard

Just two days ago I had disrespected my dad. I knew I had hurt his feelings. I said something that left him feeling low and not the best, and it wasn't my intention to hurt him, but I did. I felt really bad about it, but I didn't say sorry. I thought about saying sorry but I thought if I did I would look like a fool. I thought that putting myself lower and admiting I was wrong was gonna make myself look so foolish. Then I thought about how God hates pride, its one of the seven things God hates. Proverbs 8:13 " I hate Pride and Arrogance." I didn't want to do one of the things that God hates...I felt so against God holding that in my heart knowing it was something He hates. So the next day I asked God to help me say I was in the wrong, and He did. I told my dad I was sorry for what I had said, and after we talked for hours and read the bible and we just had a sweet time enjoying eachother and pouring out our hearts to eachother. I love the way that what satan wanted for evil, God uses for Good. God uses all things for Good, a promise for all who love God. Sometimes I forget about Gods promises, or I know them and really forget that they are promises...promises He is faithful to. I have to constantly remind myself of God's promises for my life, and bring them before Him. He is such a beautiful God, so faithful to His word.

Work Hard Before You Play Hard

It feels like i haven't blogged in forever and a half. What ever that means! So I went to church today, and T, Claudia, and Kaila came over. We worked hard on homework, (well Claudia and my brother did) Lol! Pun intended! So after we went swimming and we had a lot of fun drowning each other, and racing, and I had fun spitting on T! ha ha! What a nasty me!!! Well I don't care anyways! We came back for communion and prayer! It was Sweeeet like a tootsie pop! Then Claudia and Kaila went home and T and her dad stayed for dinner! And T was so tired, when is she not tired...haha! Ya, I'm making fun of you T! She is currently asleep on my couch! Love you T!

Where does Your Strength Come from?

In 1 Samuel 30 David's own soldiers turned against him, but it says David found strength in the Lord his God. I hope that when I am distressed that I can look to God for my strength no matter what I am facing, whether it be something as small as getting through the day or facing death like David. Psalm 118:14 The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. I talked to T today, and boy she made me laugh so hard! She is something different let me tell ya! Its hard to explain, she's like an uncooked fry in a happy meal...Just different, looks the same as all the others, but tastes different, with different texture! T puts a different texture in my life! But I like it! Ha ha! There is always one uncooked fry in a happy meal (ya, I'm bashing McDonalds!

Throw it out

I was reading in 1 Samuel 28:3 how Saul had cast all the mediums and the spiritists out of the land. Then shortly after that in verse 7 he told his attendants to find him a woman who is a medium, that he would go to her and inquire of her. He had just banned all those who speak with the dead, but when he got desperate he sought after a spiritualist for directions. It makes me think of how sometimes I don't seek God for help and I run to someone or something for directions. And Saul may have removed all the witchcraft from the land, but one thing he forgot was to remove it from his heart. Its so easy to criticize sin, but if our hearts are the same towards it, its nothing that we have changed.

Waiting For God's Perfect Peace

I have been really stoked about graduating early my junior year. I thought okay ya I'll pray about it, but what that really meant in my mind was "pray that my mom says 'Yes' to allowing me to graduate early." My mom didn't feel totally comfortable with me graduating early. But it was still all up to me she said. So I scheduled a meeting today with my cohort to discuss graduating early because I also wanted to feel peace about it. To be honest I was unsure with the whole situation. I just know I wanted to graduate early, but if i was going to do that I would have to graduate with the minimum requirements which would close doors to any universities if God opened doors for me to go, and if i changed my mind about bible college and wanted to go to a private university. I made the decision to just stay in school, because it felt like thats what God was calling me to do, and after I had made that choice, I felt so at ease, this perfect peace that felt so comforting, thats when I knew that I had made the choice that God wanted me to make! It can be so hard sometimes to do what you know God wants for you, and throw away your own plans. See I could plan anything I want, but God is the one who directs me. He is so good! It can be hard to trust Him, because you feel like your letting go of all your control, thats when we panic, but God wants to exchange that for His perfect peace He wants to it give to us so that we can feel at ease, and just relax and rely on Him, allowing Him to be in COMPLETE control. "Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." Psalm 116:7